counting down the hours

Well, here I am on this muggy, overcast tuesday afternoon, pondering another solemn trip back to Ohio. Everytime I come to visit the last day or two of the trip becomes increasinlgy anxious as I suddenly realize ive got to return to my problems and daily life of anxiety and melancholy. I really wish I could be more open with my father about these demons I battle inside but he's completely old-school in thought and approach. I love him dearly but still envy friends who have loving networks of family members to stand by their side though thick and thin. I need to just accept our relationship as a blessing and realize it is what it is and do the best I can.

monday..2 days till return to the O:(

Good afternoon to all! It's a sultry afternoon here in Arlington and I figured why not spill my guts one more time today! My father and I spend part of the morning running errands but something was accomplished. I went to a local Home Depot to find out information on a possible job transfer. They were very helpful, which was very edifying because I really didnt know what to expect. I just need to put my faith in God that He will open doors if my moving to be with my father is meant to be. I was also thinking this afternoon if i had all the time, money and energy back that ive wasted on online dating the past eight years or so id be alot more successful and richer. Maybe Im just meant to be alone and maybe thats not such a bad thing. I have lots of friends with kids, wives, girlfriends, etc and, to be honest, it seems like a whole lot of trouble for some companionship and the occasional sex.

healthcare..agghhh

Here I am, sitting here at 1am thinking about healthcare..yeah, you heard right, healthcare! It seems to be the en vogue issue of the day to our Fearless Leader in the White House and all his cronies in Congress.Governor Mike Huckabee had a very interesting take on the subject that made complete sense to me. Why should we stifle financial incentives for doctors? If socialized medicine were to come to our shores it would take any motive for our best and brightest to work hard and make extreme sacrifices to become doctors. The idea that people just go into medicine to save lives is at best antiquated in our commerical age. I want the smartest and brightest working on me, not the mediocre and apathetic!

Well, here I am! My very first blog! I owe a great deal of gratitude to my friend Beau who encouraged me to use this method as a form of catharsis. Im down in D.C. this week hanging out with my Father. I guess im more inclined to use the term Father instead of Dad cause that seems more appropriate considering my age and the lack of relationship we had during the majority of my adolescence. Its hard to believe im already about halfway through my trip...these weeks go by so fast. I really feel the pull of making a move down here but its so hard to start the steps necessary to make that a reality. I cant just pull up stakes in Ohio and leave my mother behind. What kind of son would that make me? Oh well....im gonna stop rambling and finish off my first blog of many.